Just How Low Can You Go!


Vandalism & Destruction of Federal Property

Sabotage of White House by Previous Tenants

Air Force One is Stripped Bare


The Bush Administration has quietly launched an investigation into
apparent acts of vandalism and destruction of federal property -- after
incoming Bush staffers discover widespread sabotage of White House
 office equipment and lewd messages left behind by previous tenants!

Harriet Miers, 55, Assistant to President Bush and staff secretary
will be investigating possible legal ramifications of the White House
trashing and possible theft.

"Miers is just beginning her investigation," a well-place source said
late Wednesday from Washington. "The level of the trashing is very
troubling, this is not just 'W' keys missing from keyboards."

The damage left by departing Clintonites goes "way beyond pranks,
to vandalism", said a close Bush adviser.

White House employees aren't waiting to be interviewed by Miers.
They are providing names of the worst malefactors, previous
occupants of specific offices.

Photographic and audio evidence is being collected -- as the full
scope of the damage becomes clear.

Bush's staff has been cautioned not to go public with the extent
of the damage and the worst is being closely held among very
top staffers for fear of leaks.  But, according to sources, so far
Bush officials have found:


Phone lines were cut, rendering them inoperable.


Voice mail messages were changed to obscene, scatological
greetings. One Bush staffer had his grandmother call from the
Midwest. She was horrified by what she heard on the other end
of the line.


Many phone lines misdirected to other government offices.


Desks found turned completely upside down and trash
deliberately left everywhere.


Computer printers that were filled with blank paper but
interspersed with pornographic pictures and obscene slogans
that would be revealed only as items were run off the computer.


W' keys weren't just pried off more than 40 keyboards, some
were glued on with Superglue; some were turned upside down
and glued on.


Filing cabinets glued shut.


VP Office space in the Old Executive Office Building found
in complete shambles. Mrs. Gore had to phone Mrs. Cheney to
apologize, first reported by Rich Galen's Mullings.


Lewd MagicMarker graffiti found on one office hallway.


Air Force One "Stripped Bare"

"Now that Bill Clinton is gone - after the longest goodbye anyone
remembers - an Air Force steward tells us about the former president's
'official' farewell flight to New York on Inaugural Day. The presidential
plane was 'stripped bare.' Since Air Force One is the plane only of the
president, the designation of the Boeing 747 was changed from Air
Force One to 'Special Air Mission' and by the time Mr. Clinton boarded
he was no longer the president.

"As a courtesy of President Bush, the plane was nevertheless equipped
with all the presidential amenities Mr. Clinton had grown accustomed
to during his two terms in office.  But not for long. Missing from the
plane on arrival in New York, Inside the Beltway is told, was all the
porcelain china, silverware, salt and pepper shakers, blankets and
pillow cases - most of it bearing the presidential seal.
What most astonished the military steward was that even a cache of
Colgate toothpaste, not stamped with the presidential seal, was
snatched from a compartment beneath the presidential plane's sink."

- John McCaslin's "Inside the Beltway, 1/25/01


Gorons Trash Cheney's New Office

"Speaking of neat. Vice President Dick Cheney's staffers trying to
move into the Office of the Vice President space in the Old Executive
Office Building right next to the White House found the offices had
been left in complete shambles by the Gore staff on its way out on
Friday and Saturday. Every cord and wire, in many offices - telephone,
power, computer and lamp - was slashed. Furniture was tossed, and
trash was, literally, everywhere. One person reported to Mullings that
it was his understanding that Mrs. Gore had to phone Mrs. Cheney
to apologize."

- Rich Galen's "Mullings," 1/24/01


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